


Hold Your Hand

by ShaneShenanigans



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 16:42:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3418037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShaneShenanigans/pseuds/ShaneShenanigans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A crush, a dog, a kiss, and hope for a lifetime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold Your Hand

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo. When I first started writing this it was going to be less fluffy and more in depth and angsty. But then fluffy fluff happened. So. Whoops.

The pen glided lines and loops over the line like it had thousands of times before, and with one final thought to what was written on it, Cullen folded it, and set it aside to be delivered.  
  
It was probably best that he spent many of his nights going over letters and domestic requests that Josephine had forwarded due to their concern with the army. If he did them during the day, it was less likely he’d have a chance to look back at them and make sure he hadn’t just mindlessly signed and approved some ridiculous request.   
  
Half the time he’d go to sign something and then realize he had no memory of anything on it that he’d read.  
  
He knew he needed a break. His subordinates and higher officer alike had all expressed that they believed he should take some time off, but there was always something to do, always something to think about. Some possibility to consider as a threat or possible ally, the work was never over.  
  
He’d gotten used to not resting or playing much, though, from as early as his time as a Circle Templar under Greagoir. He always had an urge to do more, and occupying his mind with his work was always how he’d gotten by with his sanity.  
  
He walked thinner ice than most when it came to keeping himself grounded enough to be of use. Lying awake while restless didn’t do him any good.  
  
“Quit pushing me, I can go as slow as I—.” His door was pushed open by a stumbling body, and he looked up.  
  
“Wait.” The intruder said, looking around with narrow eyes and a bottle in his hand. “Wrong room… damn it, these battlements all look the same at night.” He turned and met eyes with Cullen, who was seated calmly and slightly judgmentally.  
  
“Sorry Com—,”  
  
“Move it!” An obnoxious feminine voice cut him off and in poured two vaguely familiar elves as well.  
  
“What?” One of them sounded quite outrage. “This posh dungeon isn’t our room! Where did you take us?” She lazily slapped the other elf on the shoulder.  
  
“It wasn’t me!” The other one punched her back with more force.  
  
“Posh dungeon?” Cullen questioned under his breath, before standing. “That’s quite enough, both of you.” His voice boomed but the two women continued to bicker in an almost lazy fashion. They were clearly more than just a little intoxicated. And Cremisius— who had entered first, was holding that bottle. Lovely.  
  
Krem cleared his throat. “Sorry, again, Commander Cullen.” He started to usher the others out of the room as they argued.  
  
Cullen sighed, and slowly sat back down. Krem seemed to have things under control. He seemed to drink a lot, but it was clear that he held it and behaved better than some of his company. “Quite all right.” Cullen said again, and sat back down, leaning his forehead against his palm.  
  
“Wait, wait!” One of the women— the blond who was apparently a mage of some sort, cut back in. “Did you say Commander?” She peaked her head into the doorway before Krem could squeeze himself out and her eyes finally landed on Cullen behind his desk.  
  
She gasped, loudly, and then the other one— black hair, called Skinner he thought, appeared as well, but looking less amused.   
  
“Shiiiit.” The blond giggled under he breath. “This is the commander’s office. Are we going to get in trouble?”  
  
“Oh, shut up and come on, we’ve got places to be.” Skinner grabbed her hair and pulled it.  
  
“Owe! Owe owe!” The chanting went on even after the two had disappeared from the doorway.  
  
“Um…” Cremesius looked mildly flustered. “Sorry again, about that.” He tried to laugh it off as he backed out the door, forcing a smile and moving quickly, and shutting it fast.  
  
Cullen sighed heavily once they were gone. Three times, he’d apologized… and those elves, they were worried they were going to get in trouble for stepping into the wrong room? It wasn’t as if they had posts to abandon, or anyone told them they couldn’t have a little drunken fun. Questionable or not. But was he really so intimidating?  
  
He shook his head of these nonsensical thoughts. He should have been intimidating. They weren’t his soldiers, but if the Bull’s Chargers of all people saw him as a figure of authority than his men would hold onto that idea that much more firmly.  
  
But then, the Inquisition as a whole didn’t feel like it was or had ever been governed by intimidation. That wasn’t the way the Inquisitor himself did things, for certain. Cullen would have argued that he was far too soft, in fact, but so far it was yet to bite them in the ass.  
  
It was a little irritating that he saw the Inquisitor talk and drink with those very same people as if they were best friends, and he was the highest authority. Yet, Cullen had to be the intimidating one? The one that kept people in their place? Was that really what he was here for, his only value?  
  
He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. He was lucky that he was often able to catch when his thoughts took a turn caused by his shaking nerves. Today hadn’t been a bad day, he was able to control himself well. But, either way, he began to consider that it may have been a good idea to become more acquainted with the Inquisition’s power center’s outside of just his own army.  
  
o-o-o-o-o-o  
  
Sera spit her drink all over Velelan’s arm, and he stared sadly at his ruined sleeve as if he’d been infected by the plague.  
  
“Shiiiit!” She exclaimed, not apologizing or even noticing what she’d done. “I never thought I’d see you in here!” She nearly fell out of her seat in excitement as she was simply turning to face him. Cullen wasn’t sure if she was drunk or not— she tended to act unpredictable and overly energetic either way, and he’d never seen her drink anything particularly strong. Regardless, it was a little overwhelming already.  
  
“Commander Cullen.” Velelan turned on his stool to greet him as well, using a cloth to wipe of his arm while looking mildly annoyed.  
  
“Aha… Yes…” At very least it was good to see the Inquisitor himself was there. They’d become relatively close friends, and that made relaxing and having a drink much easier. At least there was someone there he could be comfortable around.  
  
Casually, he took the seat next to Velelan, with Cremisius on his left. But he seemed preoccupied with a conversation with The Iron Bull.  
  
“I thought I could use a break.” He admitted, which took more to spit out than he would have thought. He only hoped no one would see it as slacking.  
  
“You most definitely could.” Velelan said, his voice somewhat knowing. Probably referring to the lyrium problem that he had been made more than professionally aware of, but personally as well. Cullen took a deep breath, and nodded in response.  
  
“Who cares why, it’s awesome that you’re here! No one in your secret circle but the Inquizzy EVER comes to drink with us. You should invite Josie next time, is she single?” Sera was clearly joking, laughing under her breath and tripping on her words.  
  
Cullen chuckled a little. “I wonder that myself sometimes.” He answered, somewhat distantly.  
  
“What?” Sera barked. “You interested in the good ol’ Ambassador?”  
  
“What? No!” Cullen panicked, shaking his hands and head back and forth frantically. That’s not what he meant to imply at all! If Josephine got the wrong idea—  
  
“I think he means there might be something going on with her and Leliana.” Velelan came to his rescue, and he let out a breath of relief, and sat down before he was sure anyone had noticed he’d panicked.  
  
“Oh, yeah, everyone knows that.” Sera waved him off. “I was kidding. That Harding though, she’s cute for a dwarf isn’t she? All those freckles…” She said it almost dreamily.  
  
“You’ve been on the market a lot lately, Sera.” Krem’s voice came from behind Cullen, and he turned his head to look. “What happened to that girl whose always in here? The one that wrote the song about you?”  
  
“Ugh, blegh— is she here?” Sera started to look around as if to make sure she wasn’t nearby before saying anything. “Not sure about that one in the head is all.”  
  
As she went on, Cullen observed the empty spot on the counter in front of Velelan. “You’re not drinking, Inquisitor?”  
  
Velelan looked at him. “Just visiting.” He confirmed with a slight smile. “I only really do on special occasions.”  
  
“Or when Dorian joins us.” Sera burped the words, but they were plenty understandable.  
  
“What other special occasion is there?” Velean asked her, feigning genuine confusion before grinning when she shoved him hard off his stool. He bumped just as hard against Cullen, who was taken by surprise and slipped off his seat as well, on which he was already awkwardly planted.  
  
“Damn, watch it you two! You almost spilled my drink!” Krem shouted, because Cullen had fallen hard against him.  
  
Cullen cleared his throat, and straightened himself. “Sorry about that. It took me by surprise.” He said.  
  
Krem shrugged, and may have smiled. “It’s all right, though I didn’t peg you for having so many openings.”  
  
“Ha…” Cullen laughed at first, then his face straightened and he cleared his throat because no one was paying attention to him anymore.  
  
“Well, I’m going to head back for the evening.” The Inquisitor was standing, his voice coming from behind them. Cullen turned to face him.  
  
“Work to do?” He suggested, disappointed to lose his only real acquaintance at the counter, but not showing it.  
  
“Of course not.” Velelan answered as if the insinuation was absurd. “I got a date.” He shot them a smirk, and smoothly turned to leave.  
  
Sera laughed loudly. “Yeah? Was that pre-planned or did you just decide you felt like buggin’ ‘im!”  
  
Velelan spun on his heal as he walked to shrug innocently back to her before exiting the tavern with his mildly cocky backwards walk.  
  
Cullen sighed silently as he turned back to face the counter. Now he was without any strong familiarities and he was yet to even ask a barmaid to pour him a drink. Come to think of it, had they been avoiding him?  
  
 _Well, this seems like enough socializing for one day._ He decided quickly, and started to stand.  
  
“So, Commander.” he froze stiff at the sound of being addressed from his left. He had already begun to get up to leave, but he didn’t want that to be noticed. “Did you notice how much fun we were having last night and decide to join us tonight?” Krem was speaking to him. “Or are you just here to keep an eye on me?”  
  
Cullen forced a slight laugh as he settled back onto his stool, and shrugged. “Neither… really…” He considered. “Closer to the first one?”  
  
From the corner of his eye Cullen could see that the local bard, Maryden, had appeared next to Sera. It was hard to tell whether or not Sera looked pleased or uncomfortable.  
  
“Good, I think I speak for everyone’s opinion when I say you could use a break.”  
  
Krem pushed an empty mug toward Cullen— it was probably his own but Cullen had observed in the past that he’d always seemed content drinking straight from the bottle. He poured some from the bottle into it, and then pushed it further until Cullen took it in his hand.  
  
“Thanks.” He cleared his throat. “I think the barmaids are scared of me.” He brought the mug to his mouth, and took a sip. It was strong, but honestly not as bad as he was expecting. It was a given that the Chargers didn’t fool around with anything too diluted or without a lot of kick, but he may have argued that Cremisius simply had good taste. At very least, Cullen could handle it.  
  
“Maybe.” Krem shrugged. “Or they think you’ve gone mad because you’ve never been in here just to drink before.”  
  
“Maybe that’s it.” Cullen smiled, and speculated. If he did find time for a drink, it was always some particular brand of wine, usually red, and either a revered flavor test or an old favorite. Most importantly, it was always by himself, over his work.  
  
“Well, for what it’s worth, it’s good to see you among the people.” Krem bumped his bottle against Cullen’s mug.  
  
“I suppose it’s good to be here.” Cullen nodded, and bumped his back. He met Krem’s eyes when he did, just like he had last night. He paused in their gaze for just a moment before looking away and taking a drink.  
  
Krem laughed loudly. “Don’t sip it like it’s wine!” He slapped Cullen on the shoulder, and Cullen nearly spilled the liquid in his mug.  
  
“How else should I drink it?” He tried to laugh, but felt legitimately embarrassed.  
  
“Krem! Are you harassing our esteemed general?”  
  
“Only over the way he drinks, Chief.”  
  
“Oh, can’t be helped, then.”  
  
Cullen rolled his eyes and took another sip, though this time he made it subtly double the size of the last.  
  
“Come on, then! We’re never going to get you drunk if you keep taking them like that!” Krem patted him hard on the back— a little too hard.  
  
“Wait, what?” That hadn’t really been his agenda.  
  
“Drink up!” Iron Bull chimed in as well, raising his mug, apparently to Cullen, before taking a long continuous gulp during which the whisky overflowed from the sides of his mouth and rolled down his chin and neck.  
  
Dear Maker, what had he gotten himself into?  
  
o-o-o-o  
  
The room was moving, and Cullen was staring into his mug, watching the liquid inside it sway and rotate like the sea during a storm. If he was a ship, he was going to sink in it.  
  
“You okay there?” Krem’s elbow nudged him, and he just grunted. No, go away, he was busy watching the ocean in his cup.  
  
“I think he’s the quiet type, Krem.”  
  
Cullen hummed in reply to that as well. There was a bubble in the center of the cup, and someone bumped the counter and the ground shook beneath it, it braved the ripples like a true warrior and did not pop.  
  
“He’s catching whatever Grim has…” Krem said, sort of in a thoughtful mumble, and Bull chortled.  
  
“You should take him to his room before he decides to go for a swim in that cup.” Bull said.  
  
Cullen looked up at Krem’s face directly when he heard that, and said with wide eyes “What?”  
  
Krem’s drink caught in his throat as he was faced with those wide, innocent eyes that were somehow owned by their ruthless, fearless ex-templar of Kirkwall commander. He nearly gagged himself oh his drink, and quickly turned and coughed into his hand to hide it.  
  
“Ah…” He cleared his throat quickly and hit his fist hard against his chest to make it go down. “Why do I have to do it?” He turned to face Iron Bull but he could still feel Cullen’s confused eyes on his back.  
  
“Wait!” Cullen’s voice came from behind, and Krem looked over his shoulder, slightly terrified of what was to come.  
  
“I don’t…” He seemed to forget what he was saying half-way through, and then took to glaring into his cup again, like he’d noticed something new in there.  
  
“Seriously, Krem. Get him out of here, he’s freaking me out.”  
  
Krem sighed heavily, and started to stand. “All right buddy, come on, Chief’s orders.” He took hold of Cullen’s upper arm as he got off his stool, while Cullen was still trying to see something in his cup.  
  
“Hold on, I—…” Cullen quickly realized he was being pulled away and reflexively brought the mug to his lips and gulped down the last few ounces of what was in it.  
  
Krem sighed, and looked at Iron Bull, who just shrugged.  
  
“Okay.” Cullen said, nodding. “Okay. I’m okay now.” He straightened himself, stuck out his chest, and went to take a step.  
  
“Whoa!” Krem moved in front of him and caught him as he started to fall.  
  
“Ugh.” Cullen blurbed. “What did you give me?”  
  
“Apparently more than you could handle…” Krem said. “Come on…” He turned his body so that Cullen was next to him, and lifted one of his arms over his shoulders.  
  
“Where are we going?”  
  
“Your bed, wherever that is. Where is it again?”  
  
“Bed.” Cullen nodded. “That does sound wonderful…” He sounded like he was falling asleep already.  
  
“Okay, okay. Good. Where is yours?” Krem sighed.  
  
“My what?” Cullen asked, and then for no reason at all, begun to laugh.  
  
Krem rolled his eyes in the most dramatic fashion possible, and started to walk with Cullen toward the exit. He didn’t know of any of the chargers that had a couch. The Inquisitor probably did, but his quarters were up too many damn stairs and Krem’s own bed was on the ground floor and not far. He could find somewhere else to sleep tonight if it meant getting this guy off his arm sooner.  
  
o-o-o  
  
Cullen hummed after Krem dropped him in the bed, and just laid there as he’d fallen, shutting his eyes and sinking into the lumpy mattress like it was made of silk and feathers. Well, at least it didn’t seem like Rem would have to babysit him before he fell asleep.  
  
  
“Well then.” Krem hovered there for a moment, wondering vaguely if he should… tuck him in or some shit? …He decided not. “Sleep well.” He said, and then left the room, shutting the door behind him and locking it just in case.  
  
o-o-o-o  
  
Velelan all but burst into Josephine’s office, but slowed himself to a calm state when he saw her concentrated at her desk with a sheet of paper, feather, and ink dock.  
  
He approached her slowly, but made his presence obvious as quickly as possible.   
  
She looked up at him, smiling like she did. “Can I help you?”  
  
“I was wondering if you’d seen or heard from Cullen? I haven’t been able to find him… none of the soldiers I’ve spoken to have seen him. They’ve all been reporting to me in his absence.”  
  
“Have you asked Cassandra?”  
  
Velelan sighed, and crossed his arms. “Not yet— I don’t want her to worry.”  
  
“Because of the lyrium thing?” Josephine deduced. “Cassandra takes this responsibility very seriously, and she will not act rashly toward it.” She said, he didn’t disagree. But if he was wrong, he didn’t want Cullen to know that he was worried about it and went running to Cassandra for help. Cullen would know what that meant.  
  
“If something related is going on with Cullen, she would be the first person he’d go to.”  
  
“Right…” Velelan nodded, “I’ll go ask her then…” He trailed off, and then left the room more slowly than he’d entered.  
  
o-o-o-o  
  
Cullen woke up in darkness, which was preferable to the opposite given the pounding headache that set in the moment he opened his eyes.  
  
“Maker’s breath…” He mumbled, and forced himself to sit up. He was still fully dressed, and had clearly fallen asleep in an unfamiliar bed with his legs hanging off the end. By the tiny thin rays of light that shown though the cracks between the planks of the badly maintained door, it was at very least morning. Hopefully not afternoon.  
  
He stood slowly, at first testing if his legs still worked. Then he took a step forward, and when he didn’t fall on his face, trusted himself to continue toward the door.  
  
He gave it a push, and it moved only slightly before it caught on something.  
  
His eyes narrowed, and he pushed again. “Locked?” He scoffed, and pushed harder. “Hey!” He banged is fist against the wood. “Is anyone out there, can anyone hear me?” He banged more and more, certain his “knocking” was loud enough to alert anyone within a twenty-foot radius.  
  
“Who is it?” An almost irritatingly cheerful voice came from the other side.  
  
“Sera.” Cullen shouted. “Can you open it? Someone locked me in!”  
  
“Is that you, Cullen?” Her voice turned sly. “What could do be doing in Krem’s room? Nothing naughty, I trust.” She crossed her arms over her chest.  
  
“What? No!” Cullen scoffed. “Would you please just go get someone who can open this door?” He wanted to sit down, but not in here. He wanted his own desk and something familiar.   
  
“Fine, fine! I’ll get Krem.”  
  
“Fine, good.” Cullen replied, relieved.  
  
o-o-o.  
  
“Hey Kremmi, your pet blond is awake and ready to be let out.” Sera appeared in front of him, and he blinked at first, not entirely sure what she meant or even what language she was speaking.  
  
Sera quickly became frustrated. “Cullen? He’s locked in your room? Don’t make me comment on the kink factor here.” She smirked just the smallest amount.  
  
“Oh, right!” Krem stood quickly. “I locked the door…” He thought back on why he did that for a moment. At the time it seemed best, in case of assassins targeting the commander, since there wasn’t any guard on Krem’s bedroom. But now it just seemed silly. Assassins could have broken through that lock…  
  
He hurried passed Sera in the direction of his sleeping quarters, where he started to hear banging and Cullen shouting Sera’s name as he got closer. He didn’t bother saying anything, just immediately used his key to open the lock, and then opened the door.  
  
Cullens eyes were shut tightly when the light hit him, and he held his hand in front of his face to try and see. “…Thanks.” He said as soon as he recognized Krem, and then shut them tightly again.  
  
“Sorry about that…” Krem said. “Locking the door was… well, maybe not the best move.”  
  
“It’s all right.” Cullen said, and started to step out slowly, one eye pried open to watch his own feet as he moved.  
  
“Need some help, there?”  
  
“No, I’m all right.” Cullen held his hand out, signaling Krem to keep his distance as he hobbled off, seemingly in the direction of his office.  
  
Krem rolled his eyes and shook his head. In a swift movement he pushed back on his heal and lifted Cullen’s arm to duck under it and hold it over his shoulder. “You have like a hundred stairs to climb to get where you’re going.” He said before Cullen could object. “Let me help.”  
  
“Ah…” …Cullen had nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden contact, and he was glad Krem hadn’t noticed. He cleared his throat and focuses on looking away from Krem’s face. The yellow flowers growing along the wall-side were in fair bloom this time of year.   
  
“There you are!” Velelan. That weirdo. Always running about, having to be a part of everything. Why doesn’t he just sit on his throne and bark orders like any normal ruler? “Your men have been looking for you!”  
  
“Yeah… the general’s a little tied up at the moment.” Krem answered the exclamation for him. “You might want to take it easy on him—,”  
  
“No, no!” Cullen didn’t like the sound of that one bit, and quickly tried to wiggle out of Krem’s grasp. Strangely, Krem was stronger than expected, and he was holding on tight. Cullen glared hard at him and Krem was simply staring down the Inquisitor, as if just patiently waiting for him to accept what had been said and carry on.  
  
“Well…” Velelan was almost as confused as Cullen. “…All right, then. Of course. Rest all you need.” He nodded sharply, and then turned on his heal to leave.  
  
“What the hell was that about?” Cullen growled. Krem just about had him in an inconspicuous headlock at this point.  
  
“That stuff you drank yesterday wasn’t exactly light, and you were smashed. You should take some time off.”  
  
“Are you forcing me to abandon my duties? Who exactly do you think you are?” Secretly, as they continued to walk, Cullen was grateful to have something to lean on, and didn’t bother to struggle.  
  
“Not forcing, more like aggressively suggesting.” Krem said. They started up the stairs that lead to the battlements, and Cullen was too focused on his own steps and where his feet were going to manage a reply.  
  
“I’m so sorry.” They were about halfway when he blurted that out. But he was struggling so much the past few steps that he was putting all his weight on Krem.  
  
“S’all right,” Krem didn’t sound fazed in the slightest. “It’s what I’m here for.”  
  
That didn’t help a thing in Cullen’s brain. “Maker’s breath, this is ridiculous. I can’t believe I’ve rendered myself so dependent. What was I thinking? I apologize that you have to deal with this.”  
  
“S’all right.” Krem repeated himself in exactly the same tone of voice, just as Cullen braved the final step. He prepared himself for Krem to let go, but was silently thankful when he didn’t.  
  
“Oh— dear, shit, I’m sorry.” He tripped. “Thank you, I appreciate it. Just… right over here.” Krem must’ve rolled his eyes five or six times as they hobbled toward the door, but by the time he reached it, he caught himself smiling in amusement.  
  
They’d just about made it through the door when Cullen tripped on a mislaid stone on the floor just outside his office, and started to go down. As he was falling, Krem jerked up on his shoulder to push him forward and keep him off the ground, spinning him around so his back hit the wall next to his office doorway.  
  
And Krem’s chest was against his, and Cullen could feel his breath on his neck. He swallowed, and shut his eyes as his heart started to beat wildly.  
  
“Damn, that was close.” Krem pulled his head back, laughing.  
  
Cullen stared at him, mouth agape and lost for words. His face was close and Krem didn’t seem to mind or notice. His face was close and that little laughing grin spread across his lips was all Cullen seemed to be able to focus on.  
  
“Well.” Krem straightened himself as well as Cullen’s collar as he backed off. “You made it, right?”  
  
Cullen’s bottom lip quivered as he tried to process the words and what was actually happening before him. “Yes! Thank you…” He quickly turned his body away from Krem, rolling it against the wall until he was able to get a footing and move carefully through the door. “Thank you, I’ll handle everything from here.”  
  
Krem watched him with mild amusement as he hobbled along the wall, and then disappeared around the doorway’s edge.  
  
o-o-o-o-o  
  
The last time Cullen had even considered a romantic attachment was before the fall of Haven. Months before he and Velelan had become close as friends, and before Velelan became infatuated with Dorian, he spent a lot of time flirting with Cullen. At the time, Cullen’s immediate reaction was to turn him down, make sure he didn’t get involved in anything personal because back then his interests were soully to support the Inquisition.  
  
But, it took him a long time to actually verbally turn Velelan down, and in that time he had vaguely considered the idea.  
  
But no— in the end it had been easy and quick for him to side with his work, and when he found the right moment, he let Velelan know where he stood, and it went smoothly. They became friends.  
  
Since then it had become obvious that he and the Inquisitor never would have worked out. He was far too… well, Sera-esque in enough regards that Cullen never would have been able to put up with it in a romantic or sexual partner  
  
Regardless, that was the last time… actually, the only time since long before Kirkwall that the thought of a relationship had entered his mind. Until now.  
  
“Varric found it?” He stared at Cole, confused to no end at the way the boy just stood there, holding the small animal in his arms as it slept.  
  
“Cold, alone, left behind accidentally, couldn’t find her mother after that—.”  
  
“Yes, yes… okay. Why did you bring it here?”  
  
“Varric said you would take care of it.” Cole said.  
  
Cullen’s eyebrows furrowed. “Take care of it? What does that imply? I’m not in any kind of work that involves slaughtering helpless animals.”  
  
“Not remove from misery. Take care of.” Cole held out the puppy in his arms, and shock and horror came over Cullen.  
  
“Take care of… as in? As a pet?” Cullen barked. “Is he mad?”  
  
“There you are!” Iron Bull’s voice boomed from the doorway. “See, I told you! I saw him walking by with a dog!”  
  
“That’s not a dog, it’s a puppy.” Krem snorted as he entered the office. Cullen’s heart beat double time and he straightened himself and began to sweat.  
  
“It’s so calm.” Krem said. “Hard to believe it was a stray.” He patted the dog’s head and it shifted in Cole’s arms. “What are we doing with it?”  
  
“The commander is adopting her.” Cole said, with no hesitation what-so-ever.  
  
Cullen regained his wits right then and opened his mouth to protest.  
  
“So you’re a dog person?” Krem’s grin that was tossed over his shoulder hit Cullen like an arrow to the heart, and he shut his mouth fast. “I might have guessed that.” He pet the little mabari on the head again and it blinked its eyes open.  
  
“You could train it to be a soldier, you know. Your right hand man.” Krem speculated as the puppy started to lick his hand.  
  
“Ah… yes…” Cullen sighed. “I guess I could do that.” He cleared his throat as he walked around his desk. He had a hand in training mabari in his early years with the templars. He didn’t dislike them, and they were good to have around.  
  
He stepped up beside Krem, and slowly pet the animal.  
  
“Here.” Cole suddenly shoved it into his arms, and he had no choice but to take it with the way Cole dropped it on him. “Sorry, it was heavy.” He looked down and away.  
  
The dog immediately started to struggle in Cullen’s arms. It seemed to be pining in the direction of Krem, who held out his hands to catch it as it squirmed out of Cullen’s hold and into his, where it relaxed again.  
  
“It doesn’t even like me!” Cullen barked, slightly offended.  
  
“Well she better start.” Krem said, snickering as the puppy, now more awake, climbed to his shoulder and licked his ear while wagging its tail.  
  
Cullen had never seen anything so cute in his entire life. He had to cough. _Cute?_  
  
“You’re her new general and she’ll have to follow orders and obey, won’t she?” Krem held the dog out to Cullen and spoke sternly, seeming to the dog more than to anyone else.  
  
Cullen took the animal slowly, and it seemed more content with him now, and immediately turned its body to lick furiously at the side of his face.  
  
“See, you’ll get along fine.” Krem looked all kinds of pleased, and Cullen was all kinds of unsure. He started to leave, moving toward the exit where Bull stood, pouting slightly.  
  
“Come on chief, let’s head to the tavern.” Krem said.  
  
“I wanted the mabari.” He huffed as they walked away. Cullen watched them, wanting to tell Bull he could have it. Lost, he listened to their voices as they walked away.  
  
 _“We’ll get you a baby dragon.”_  
  
 _“You mean it!?”_  
  
“You should just tell him if you want to hold his hand.” Cole said. Cullen was confused at first, but then his eyes widened in shock.  
  
“That’s none of your business. Thank you for delivering this, please go.”  
  
Cole made no reaction, and simply turned, and left.  
  
Cullen sighed heavily to himself, standing alone in the middle of his office with a dog hanging off his shoulder.  
  
o-o-o-o  
  
The first time Nico got out of his sight, Cullen was mortified. What if she got out of the city somehow? What if she got lost and couldn’t find any food?  
  
But by the fifth time, Cullen was far from worried. Because she always ended up in exactly the same place. Well— not the same place, but she always managed to find the same person.  
  
So, the fifth time, Cullen may have just let her run off on purpose.  
  
Krem had just been released from Velelan’s demand to give him advice on an attempt at a Tevinter-esque trinket of some sort as a gift for Dorian. He was standing outside of the main hall, arms crossed over his chest, wondering if he should go back in and tell him to forget that idea. Dorian probably didn’t need anything else reminding him of home. His entire being was Tevinter in a nutshell— though he likely didn’t want anyone telling him that.  
  
He didn’t even have to look to know what was coming when he started to hear loud, heavy panting from the stairs in front of him. “Well, if it isn’t my biggest fan.” He dropped to one knee as the dog politely approached him and sniffed his hand. She used to throw herself into his arms and nearly knock him over, but he’d taught her otherwise. She was smart, and learned fast.  
  
Which, he thought, is why it was odd that Cullen hadn’t been able to train her not to run away.  
  
“Maker’s breath! There you are!” …Sure enough and as usual, then came the commander himself, jogging after her. “I’m so sorry, this keeps happening…” He said. Krem stood up slowly, and held his hand, signaling the dog to sit. She did.  
  
“Nico, why are you always running off on me, you know I don’t like chasing you all over Skyhold!” Cullen hit his knee next to her and her tail thumped as she sniffed his hand as if hoping he’d brought food.  
  
Krem rolled his eyes when Cullen wasn’t looking. Same old song and dance with this one.  
  
Cullen picked her up, rather easily despite the fact that she’d grown almost twice in size over the past month.  He boosted her up so she hung her front paws over his shoulder, and turned to face Krem. “Did you train her to sit on command? That’s amazing!”  
  
Krem snorted, and then laughed. “Pretty standard actually.” The blatant attempts at flattery were getting old too.  
  
“Well—,” Cullen almost gagged on the lump that had formed in his throat. “I couldn’t do it.”  
  
“Right. Why did Varric decide you were the best man for this job again?”  
  
“I don’t know.” Cullen huffed. “When I asked him he just said it looked like I needed something to do. I guess work is scarce now that the war’s over.”  
  
“Hm.” Krem nodded, somewhat distantly. “Do you want to get a drink later?” He said, entirely out of the blue and for just a moment Cullen found himself lost for words.  
  
“Yes.” He said in a breath of relief, or was that hope? “I mean— yes, that sounds… good. Yes.” He nodded, and focused on adjusting the weight of the dog on his shoulder.  
  
“Leave the dog with Cole, would you?” With that Krem, walked around him, gave him a pat on his shoulder, and continued down the stairs.  
  
Cullen looked after him, his mind still trying to process what had just happened, and what he’d just agreed to, as well as decipher what it meant. “Right…” He said, still looking after Krem even after he’d cleared the bottom of the stairs. “…Right…”  
  
o-o-o-o  
  
Cullen mussed his hair, then fixed it. Then he fixed it some more. Then he sneered at himself in the mirror and mussed it again, this time not as much. He didn’t know what to do with himself. He kept behaving like he was going on— on what? A date? But it wasn’t that, Krem had just invited him for drinks. That was all. Just a drink.  
  
He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly, watching himself in the mirror as he did before turning on his left toe, and heading for the tavern.  
  
When he entered, he did so slowly, and scanned the situation between steps as he moved in. It was slow, it seemed. He knew the Inquisitor had taken a decent sized-party out to the Western Approach, so that was probably why.  
  
Krem was alone, and that was enough to make Cullen’s heart rate double in speed. He was alone and he was sitting with his back turned. Part of Cullen just wanted to cut all of this lead-up garbage, embrace him from behind, and confess. But Sera was probably lurking about somewhere, she did live here after all. If that went sour she’d never let him live it down.  
  
He gathered himself, and approached the bar counter as casually as he could.  
  
“Hey, wasn’t sure you were coming.” Krem said idly, without looking at him, just sitting with one arm rested on his elbow and a bottle in that hand. He always drank straight from the bottle. Cullen wondered if he was ever entirely sober.  
  
“Well I… couldn’t let you drink alone here, could I?”  
  
Krem snickered. “Not such a big deal, I do most days.”  
  
“Really? Where are the rest of the Chargers?”  
  
“They’re off… doing whatever it is they do. Chief’s hunting a dragon with the Inquisitor and a few others, don’t know where the rest of them got to, but you’d be surprised the ways they keep busy.”  
  
Cullen chuckled. “We’ll have to put a stop to that then.” He mustered some courage before his next line. “If you ever find yourself wanting company, I’m always open to an invitation.” It came out smoothly, as planned, and his mind did a small victory dance.  
  
“Suppose I’ll have to take you up on that, then.” Krem looked at him, smiling, and Cullen’s smooth grin was instantly knocked off his face. He wanted to kiss him. And wanting to kiss him now after wanting it so many times before was like being repeatedly swept away by the same massive wave and just barely being able to keep his footing— even though he didn’t want to. He wanted to be swept away, off his feet.  
  
He cleared his throat, and looked down. “Ah!” He caught the bar tender’s attention just as he walked by. “Give me the best you’ve got, please.” He said, and the bartender just nodded, a little put off by the sudden demand, before he went to fill the order.  
  
“I almost went with them, but I thought it might be awkward to ask, what with him usually just going off with his little team.” Krem said.  
  
“After the dragon?” Cullen questioned. “Why in the world would anyone _want_ to go after a dragon. Besides those three, anyway.” It was no secret that Velelan, Iron Bull, and Sera were all obsessed with hunting dragons. The Iron Bull in particular.  
  
“The way Iron Bull talks about them just makes it seem exciting I guess. I’m smarter than wanting to get my face burnt off, but I’d like to at least see one. With all the crazy stuff I’ve been through with the Charges I’ve never once seen a dragon in person.”  
  
Cullen considered this for a few moments. “Well, you know. Next time they run off chasing their death wish, we could go just to look.”  
  
“We?” Krem latched onto that pronoun faster than Cullen could think.  
  
“Ah— I mean, I’ve… never… seen a dragon up close either, so.” He rubbed his neck. Shit shit shit.  
  
Krem laughed shortly, and then took a long gulp of whatever was in his bottle, just as Cullen’s drink arrived in front of him.  
  
“We… could… though.” He ran his finger nervously along the edge of it. “I mean, I would go with you, make it less awkward.” He shrugged. “I’m sure the Inquisitor wouldn’t mind, and I can leave command in the hands of my lieutenant for a few hours. How long does it take to kill a dragon I wonder? More than a few hours?”  
  
He shut up fast when he looked up and found Krem already looking at him. He was smirking, too, just slightly, like he knew some secret that he wasn’t supposed to.  
  
“What?” Cullen reminded himself to breathe.  
  
There was a clunk on the counter as Krem set down his bottle, and leaned sideways in his seat, coming closer until his lips touched Cullen’s, and Cullen froze. For just a few moments, he couldn’t move. His eyes were wide with shock and he didn’t know what to do with his hands but it had been at least a second… two seconds? and his lips were still there.  
  
Just as he felt them leave, start to retract, every bone in his body screamed _“no!_ ” and his hands shot up from his sides to hold Krem in place by his shoulders. He tilted his head, and pressed harder. In response, Krem placed his hand on the back of his neck, and kissed back.  
  
Cullen held his face in his hands, and sighed into his lips as he drew back, opening his eyes to find himself looking into Krem’s, and blown away by them.  
  
“Sounds like a plan.” Krem said, his hand tangled in the back of Cullen’s hair.  
  
“It does, doesn’t it?” Cullen whispered. He didn’t want to let go. But Krem started to turn away, back toward the counter, where he brought the bottle back to his lips. He forced himself to let his hands drag down from his face, over his shoulder and down his arm as he tried to remain in contact for as long as he could. He didn’t want that moment to end, but they were in public, and people would talk…  
  
Krem caught his hand in his own just before it fell away from his wrist, and held it loosely between them as he took a few more swallows. Cullen smiled to himself as he looked down at his untouched drink in front of him.


End file.
